God is preparing you for what He has prepared for you. This is what the Spirit has been telling me all summer long. In every situation we face, God is always preparing us for the next thing. He knows where we are headed and what He wants to do, so He prepares us and positions us for greatness. We don't have a hard time wrapping our minds around this when the preparing and positioning is fun, easy, painless, and understandable. However we have a really hard time when it involves problems, pain, perseverance, and a lot of questions.
Those of you who are my Facebook friends know last year was incredibly tough for my sweet daughter Hannah. She had a difficult time transitioning to middle school ... a longer day, no play ground, and all the changes that come with puberty. There were also some real issues with her teachers who were lovely, well meaning people but were not equipped to deal with some of Hannah's behaviors. (For those of you who do not know, my daughter was diagnosed with Autism just before turning 3 and is non-verbal).
So after a long first semester of Hannah hitting, kicking, and biting people and having to be restrained on numerous occasions, a behavioral coach was finally assigned to her. We all took part in creating a FBA (Functional Behavioral Assessment) and designed a game plan to move forward. Things began to calm and I was starting to feel good about it when I got a phone call from her teacher informing me that the ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) classroom Hannah was in would be relocated to a different school next year.
Upset does not even begin to express my feelings of frustration. To think of everything the teachers, myself, and especially Hannah had been through to get to a better place and now to know everything would be uprooted and changed ... a new school, new teacher, new bus driver, new classmates. New is not usually a good thing in the world of Autism. Old, patterned, predictable, reliable is what makes their world go round. Understand too that this was not the first time the county had changed schools on us, and I was feeling incredibly irritated by all these "professionals." So I decided right then and there I was going to look into other options (i.e. private school). I still didn't have peace though. Peace about leaving her in public school, pulling her out, or anything. Just frustration.
One day as the rant directed at the school system played in my head, the Holy Spirit said "If you make a decision because your panties are in a twist, you can be certain your decision is of the flesh and not the Spirit because, let's face it, your Spirit doesn't have a butt crack." (I know some of you may be thinking the Holy Spirit would never speak of such things, but I'm telling you He did.) It was just the message I needed and funny too! I laughed and laughed all day about it, and then prayed this prayer ...
"Lord I don't know where Hannah should go to school next year, but You do. You
know exactly where she needs to be. So Lord I ask You to give me wisdom. Open
the doors where You want her to go and close them where You don't want her to go.
Lord, I pray you make it painfully obvious to me what I'm supposed to do. You see
my plate is full. I don't have the time or energy to ponder this. Show me."
A lengthy search ensued including a meet and greet at the public school the ASD unit would be moved to the following year. It's funny, I really didn't pray that much about it. I was quite confident in the prayer I had already prayed, but the morning I got in the car to go tour the private school I had decided was a good fit, I found a Praying Mantis on the steering wheel of my car. After managing to get him out, I prayed ... because really, what are the chances of that! The problem was I read into that Praying Mantis too much. Yes, I prayed, but I prayed believing this was where Hannah was supposed to be. It wasn't!
About a week later the door that seemed open was suddenly and shockingly slammed shut. The whole thing was done very unprofessionally, and I found myself dealing with negative feelings of being offended until I realized ... my prayer had been answered! Man didn't shut that door. God shut that door. And just as I had requested, He made it painfully and unmistakeably obvious. How could I be offended about an answered prayer?! God also helped me to realize that prayer is important for two reasons ... it either leads to complete joy if we get what we ask for or deep peace if we do not. I cannot begin to describe the peace that I felt in that moment. I stayed open to other possibilities but basically knew Hannah would stay in public school. A few months later I learned of the teacher who was hired from people I highly trusted, and I knew the search was over.
Ironically I was going to blog about this yesterday and didn't, and at 3:30 I received a call from Hannah's school that she had hit a student over the head and bit her teacher. My heart sank. It's the 3rd day of school and here we go again. I was beside myself and happy I hadn't made a fool of myself blogging about my answer to prayer. Ha! What a joke, right?
WRONG! God is always preparing us for what He has prepared for us. God is always positioning us for greatness. It's so easy to think "If this is greatness, somebody goofed." But the greatest victory this world has ever known didn't look good either. Jesus Christ suffering. His blood being poured out as He died on the cross. Conquering sin and death. Raised from the dead. Ascending to heaven. Seated at the right hand of the Father. Given the Name above ALL names. Who would've thought something as horrendous as the CROSS would have positioned Him for such greatness? Satan didn't. The Bible tells us that he NEVER would have crucified the Son of God had he known the consequences. Let us not be conformed to the world's way of thinking about what is good and what is bad. We have been given the mind of Christ and the Holy Spirit to help us understand that when God is in it, what seems bad actually positions us for greatness. In fact we are already positioned for greatness because we are seated with Christ! Will we let Christ be our example of how to carry our cross? Will we trust the Author and Finisher of our faith to see us through? Are we anchored to the truth that Christ's obedience to the cross was the path to victory, and that because of Jesus our obedience to our cross will also lead to victory?
So this morning I praise the Lord for the overwhelming peace I have of knowing that He was the one to direct us to this school. He has Hannah right where He wants her. He has prepared this school with the right personnel and resources to help Hannah. I might have been surprised that she behaved so badly on her 3rd day of school, but God is never surprised. He knew this is where we would be, where Hannah would get the help she needs, and that she will go on to have a successful school year.
I feel truly blessed by a faithful and loving God that has entrusted such a treasure to me. Not because He thought I could handle it, but because He wanted to use this situation to draw me closer to Him ... to foster an incredibly intimate relationship with Him. Today is Hannah's 14th birthday, and the Lord has reminded me of a prayer I prayed while I was pregnant with her that she would be truly special. He has answered that prayer and continues to answer it. He is positioning her for greatness, preparing her for all He has prepared for her, and touching the lives of those around her for His glory. I am beyond blessed to be her mother. Happy Birthday my sweet Hannah! I love you!
