"The Lord who rescued me from the claws of the lion and the bear will rescue me from the Philistine!" (1 Samuel 17:37)
This year I decided to read through the Bible chronologically, and in April I came across the familiar story of David and Goliath. It was this particular passage though, that stood out to me. How does one develop the faith to slay a giant? How does one express such trust in the Lord that he runs toward a 9 foot giant with just a sling and a stone? (1 Sam. 17:4, 49) It is because of the Lord's faithfulness with the lion and the bear.
David, whom the Bible tells us was a man after God's own heart, clearly understood that the lion and the bear where preparation for the giant.(1 Sam. 13:14) He didn't know it at the time, but through those years of being alone in the pasture protecting sheep and goats, God had developed a trusting relationship with David and taught him how to defeat anything that came against him. God knew about Goliath long before David and the Israelites did. However, God wasn't only preparing a giant slayer; He was positioning David for promotion. Remember, David was already appointed by God and anointed by Samuel to become the next King of Israel, but this young shepherd boy was completely unknown to Saul and his men! (1 Sam. 16:12, 17:55-57) It was after this victory that David was brought to the palace of the King.
The lion and the bear. No one wants to encounter them, but they are essential for the preparation, positioning, and promotion that comes from the Lord. This is a truth that can be a hard pill to swallow, but this story has helped me put a spotlight on my own attitude toward trials. How many times have I gotten angry with God over my giant? How many times have I thought it wasn't fair because I had already endured the lion and the bear? How many times was I certain the giant wouldn't come because I'd already dealt with the lion and the bear? I clearly didn't understand what David knew; that God brings the lion and the bear to teach us to slay the giant ... and much of that "teaching" is learning how to hear from God, obey God, and trust God's plan of action.
As I write this I can recall a very difficult season ... Hannah's diagnosis, my diagnosis of an ovarian cyst, and my mother's diagnosis of breast cancer. It was a season of desperately trying to trust God and yet questioning why He would allow so many trials at the same time. Now, looking back, I can clearly see that through my mother's health scare and inability to be there for me as she had always been before, I learned to go to God. To let Him be my refuge, my comforter, and my counselor. I definitely see how God used my ovarian cyst to teach me how to listen to Him; how to follow His directions of fasting and prayer to be healed. I still remember my doctor calling me with the ultrasound report that the cyst was gone. And the crazy thing was, I already knew it!
Yes, I can see in the past how the lion and the bear have prepared me. Now it is my prayer to become a woman who trusts God with the lion and the bear WHILE dealing with the lion and the bear ... not just after. That is true faith. I pray, too, that I am a woman after God's own heart who understands that in all that has come into my life, God is and has been preparing me for my giant. He has been training me to be a giant slayer. He is training you too, my friend. Look back to your lions and bears and see the preparation God has been doing all along.
The Bible tells us that we are more than conquerors through Christ. (Rom. 8:37) That no weapon formed against us shall prosper because God uses ALL things for our good! (Is. 54:17, Rom.8:28) And why does God make such amazing promises to His people? So that just like David, we can run toward our giant and confidently proclaim,"You come against me with sword, spear, and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of Heaven's Armies - the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. Today the Lord will conquer you ... and the whole world will know there is a God in Israel! And everyone assembled here will know that the Lord rescues His people, but not with sword and spear. This is the Lord's battle, and he will give you to us!" (1 Sam. 17:45-47) Ironically though, we aren't slinging stones, we are "living stones" built upon the foundation of the Chief Cornerstone, Jesus Christ, and we stand confident in knowing the same God that had David's back has ours! (1 Peter 2:5, Eph. 2:20) To God be the Glory, forever! Amen!
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Full Circle
One of my dad's most endearing and yet frustrating qualities was his ability to give directions. He was one of those, "Take 64th Street West and then head South on 29th Street" kind of people. (I can hear you snickering. I take it you know someone like that too!) He was married to my mother for 55 years, and her idea of giving directions sounded more like this, "Head toward downtown. Go over the bridge and left at the flag pole." You can imagine the two of them in the car together!
However, even an incredible sense of direction can sometimes lead us astray. I remember one time trying to get to a building downtown. I could see the building, but due to all the one way streets, I could not manage to get to it. Now, I'm quite certain that traffic pattern experts and other powers that be had very good reason for what I found to be complete and total chaos, but after several turns I finally came full circle and arrived safely at my destination.
Full circle. It's a concept the Bible is replete with. Joseph, shown a dream of royalty, took a left at enslavement and another left at imprisonment, before reaching his destination. Israel, freed from slavery in Egypt and promised to possess a land flowing with milk and honey, headed out in the complete opposite direction of Canaan. (Ex. 13:17-18) They had to make a right over the Red Sea and another right to Mt. Sinai (and several other stops along the way) to finally reach their destination. Then there's David who was anointed King by Samuel and seemed to be on his way to his destination as he slew Goliath, best-friended the King's son Jonathan, had military victory after victory, became part of the King's family by marrying one of Saul's daughters, but then made a hard and fast U-turn as he ran for his life and hid out in caves to escape Saul's wrath before coming to his destination. And that is only three examples!
Although the Bible is full of these stories, the Bible itself is a full circle story. Chapter 3 of Genesis we see the fall of Adam and Eve as they are disobedient to God's directions. We also see God in His great love and mercy begin to reveal His plan of restoration that would be brought about through Jesus (3:15). But there's something else found at the very end of chapter 3 that, as a child, I found perplexing, and as an adult I have found to be mind blowing!
"And the Lord God said, Behold, the man has become like one of Us, to know good and evil and blessing and calamity; and now, lest he put forth his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever -" (vs.22) *Note that God does not finish His sentence.
You see, Adam and Eve had already eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, but that was not the only tree in the center of the garden. God had also placed the tree of life there (2:9). Eating from that tree would have caused Adam and Eve to live forever in their fallen state. (Look back at vs. 22). So what does God do to prevent this from happening and to ensure His plan of restoration?
"Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the Garden of Eden to till the ground from which he was taken. So God drove out the man; and placed at the east of the Garden of Eden the cherubim and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep and guard the way to the tree of life." (vs. 23-24)
I like what Charles Capps says about this. "You can see the wisdom and mercy of God in that. What would have happened if Adam had partaken of the tree of life after sinning? The curse was already there; so when sickness, disease, and other horrible afflictions began to control man's life, he would have lived throughout eternity with no hope of ever being delivered from the curse." Whoa!
For years I always understood this passage as being part of God's punishment, but it wasn't. It was for their protection! It was for their ultimate good, so their fallen and sinful state would not be permanent; so God could send His Son to put them (us) back into right relation with Him. How beautiful is that?! It is also very enlighting. What has God deliberately kept from me for my protection? What are the areas I've been driven from for my ultimate good? It is quite possible that things I've labeled as punishment in my own life have really been from the hand of a loving, protecting Father.
We know how this story comes full circle. We know according to Romans 5:17-19 that just as the disobedience of one man (Adam) resulted in the fall for all, the act of obedience of another (Jesus) has paid the price for us to be reconciled unto God. Yes, death came through fruit that hung on a tree, but life came from the firstfruits being hung on a tree. (1 Cor. 15:20-22) Amen for God's redeeming work that restores all God had originally set in motion in the very beginning of Genesis ... including the tree of life!
In John's account of Heaven given in the book of Revelation, we see the tree of life come full circle. According to Revelation 22:2 it is there, in the middle of the city growing by the crystal river whose waters give life, and it yields a fresh crop of 12 varieties of fruit each month. I was struck by how similar this scripture is to Psalm 1:3. "And he shall be like a tree firmly planted by the streams of water, ready to bring forth its fruit in its season; its leaf also shall not fade or wither; and everything he does shall prosper." This passage speaks of the believer as a tree that yields fruit. Here are a few scriptures that support this metaphor.
As believers we have been
1. Made a new creation in Christ therefore producing after His kind. (2 Cor. 5:17, Gen 1:12)
2. Grafted in to the family tree of God's chosen people. (Roman 11:17)
3. Rooted and grounded in Him. (Eph. 3:17)
4. Made a branch and attached to the Vine. (John 15:5)
5. Called to produce fruit ... love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. (Gal 5:22-23)
Don't you just love how each of these scriptures tie into each other to create a picture that we can more fully understand? As a meditator, reader, and writer I know God's Word is alive and active because one scripture always leads to another, and scriptures I've known for a long time take on deeper meaning. Studying God's Word can never get old! There are always truths to unearth. Which brings me to my find yesterday.
As I was preparing for this blog I came across Romans 11:16-19 where we are given the picture of Gentiles being grafted in to the Jewish family tree. I love how Paul uses this metaphor, one that the readers of that time would have completely comprehended ... wild olive tree branches (Gentiles) being grafted on to Olive trees (Israel) to share in the blessings of God. In order to more fully understand the picture of grafting, I turned to Mr. Webster (aka, the dictionary), and this is what I found.
Graft - a grafted plant; the point of intersection of a scion upon a stock. (This is what I expected to find). But then I saw this ... living tissue used in grafting. Whoa! The metaphor God gave Paul back in 57 A.D. now has a completely new meaning! Paul and those of his day would never be able to begin to imagine the grafting of living tissue we know as organ transplant. However, we today can understand this concept, and also see its clear application to the Church, the BODY of Christ. This brings about a whole new picture! Talk about full circle! Gentiles can be grafted into the Jewish family tree of blessing, and Jews can be grafted into the Body of Christ. And all because of Jesus! How beautiful! How intentional! How non-coincidental! God is amazingly awesome, and I love that I am continually in awe of Him.
My friend, in bringing this post full circle I'd like to ask, can we trust God through the unexpected twists and turns of life to bring us safely to our destination? If we can see how God can bring not only the big picture of redemption but also the smaller details full circle, can we not trust His full circle plan for our lives? He has one He is working. May we find peace, comfort, and rest in knowing that the Author and Finisher of all things will bring to completion every work that He has begun. (Phil. 1:6)
However, even an incredible sense of direction can sometimes lead us astray. I remember one time trying to get to a building downtown. I could see the building, but due to all the one way streets, I could not manage to get to it. Now, I'm quite certain that traffic pattern experts and other powers that be had very good reason for what I found to be complete and total chaos, but after several turns I finally came full circle and arrived safely at my destination.
Full circle. It's a concept the Bible is replete with. Joseph, shown a dream of royalty, took a left at enslavement and another left at imprisonment, before reaching his destination. Israel, freed from slavery in Egypt and promised to possess a land flowing with milk and honey, headed out in the complete opposite direction of Canaan. (Ex. 13:17-18) They had to make a right over the Red Sea and another right to Mt. Sinai (and several other stops along the way) to finally reach their destination. Then there's David who was anointed King by Samuel and seemed to be on his way to his destination as he slew Goliath, best-friended the King's son Jonathan, had military victory after victory, became part of the King's family by marrying one of Saul's daughters, but then made a hard and fast U-turn as he ran for his life and hid out in caves to escape Saul's wrath before coming to his destination. And that is only three examples!
Although the Bible is full of these stories, the Bible itself is a full circle story. Chapter 3 of Genesis we see the fall of Adam and Eve as they are disobedient to God's directions. We also see God in His great love and mercy begin to reveal His plan of restoration that would be brought about through Jesus (3:15). But there's something else found at the very end of chapter 3 that, as a child, I found perplexing, and as an adult I have found to be mind blowing!
"And the Lord God said, Behold, the man has become like one of Us, to know good and evil and blessing and calamity; and now, lest he put forth his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever -" (vs.22) *Note that God does not finish His sentence.
You see, Adam and Eve had already eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, but that was not the only tree in the center of the garden. God had also placed the tree of life there (2:9). Eating from that tree would have caused Adam and Eve to live forever in their fallen state. (Look back at vs. 22). So what does God do to prevent this from happening and to ensure His plan of restoration?
"Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the Garden of Eden to till the ground from which he was taken. So God drove out the man; and placed at the east of the Garden of Eden the cherubim and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep and guard the way to the tree of life." (vs. 23-24)
I like what Charles Capps says about this. "You can see the wisdom and mercy of God in that. What would have happened if Adam had partaken of the tree of life after sinning? The curse was already there; so when sickness, disease, and other horrible afflictions began to control man's life, he would have lived throughout eternity with no hope of ever being delivered from the curse." Whoa!
For years I always understood this passage as being part of God's punishment, but it wasn't. It was for their protection! It was for their ultimate good, so their fallen and sinful state would not be permanent; so God could send His Son to put them (us) back into right relation with Him. How beautiful is that?! It is also very enlighting. What has God deliberately kept from me for my protection? What are the areas I've been driven from for my ultimate good? It is quite possible that things I've labeled as punishment in my own life have really been from the hand of a loving, protecting Father.
We know how this story comes full circle. We know according to Romans 5:17-19 that just as the disobedience of one man (Adam) resulted in the fall for all, the act of obedience of another (Jesus) has paid the price for us to be reconciled unto God. Yes, death came through fruit that hung on a tree, but life came from the firstfruits being hung on a tree. (1 Cor. 15:20-22) Amen for God's redeeming work that restores all God had originally set in motion in the very beginning of Genesis ... including the tree of life!
In John's account of Heaven given in the book of Revelation, we see the tree of life come full circle. According to Revelation 22:2 it is there, in the middle of the city growing by the crystal river whose waters give life, and it yields a fresh crop of 12 varieties of fruit each month. I was struck by how similar this scripture is to Psalm 1:3. "And he shall be like a tree firmly planted by the streams of water, ready to bring forth its fruit in its season; its leaf also shall not fade or wither; and everything he does shall prosper." This passage speaks of the believer as a tree that yields fruit. Here are a few scriptures that support this metaphor.
As believers we have been
1. Made a new creation in Christ therefore producing after His kind. (2 Cor. 5:17, Gen 1:12)
2. Grafted in to the family tree of God's chosen people. (Roman 11:17)
3. Rooted and grounded in Him. (Eph. 3:17)
4. Made a branch and attached to the Vine. (John 15:5)
5. Called to produce fruit ... love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. (Gal 5:22-23)
Don't you just love how each of these scriptures tie into each other to create a picture that we can more fully understand? As a meditator, reader, and writer I know God's Word is alive and active because one scripture always leads to another, and scriptures I've known for a long time take on deeper meaning. Studying God's Word can never get old! There are always truths to unearth. Which brings me to my find yesterday.
As I was preparing for this blog I came across Romans 11:16-19 where we are given the picture of Gentiles being grafted in to the Jewish family tree. I love how Paul uses this metaphor, one that the readers of that time would have completely comprehended ... wild olive tree branches (Gentiles) being grafted on to Olive trees (Israel) to share in the blessings of God. In order to more fully understand the picture of grafting, I turned to Mr. Webster (aka, the dictionary), and this is what I found.
Graft - a grafted plant; the point of intersection of a scion upon a stock. (This is what I expected to find). But then I saw this ... living tissue used in grafting. Whoa! The metaphor God gave Paul back in 57 A.D. now has a completely new meaning! Paul and those of his day would never be able to begin to imagine the grafting of living tissue we know as organ transplant. However, we today can understand this concept, and also see its clear application to the Church, the BODY of Christ. This brings about a whole new picture! Talk about full circle! Gentiles can be grafted into the Jewish family tree of blessing, and Jews can be grafted into the Body of Christ. And all because of Jesus! How beautiful! How intentional! How non-coincidental! God is amazingly awesome, and I love that I am continually in awe of Him.
My friend, in bringing this post full circle I'd like to ask, can we trust God through the unexpected twists and turns of life to bring us safely to our destination? If we can see how God can bring not only the big picture of redemption but also the smaller details full circle, can we not trust His full circle plan for our lives? He has one He is working. May we find peace, comfort, and rest in knowing that the Author and Finisher of all things will bring to completion every work that He has begun. (Phil. 1:6)
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Persevering Prayer
Have you ever had a prayer you continually prayed? One you felt passionate about? One you felt that every time you prayed it, it didn't quite get to God's ear? We know, of course, this isn't true. God hears every prayer we pray and even knows our thoughts before we speak them. When prayers go unanswered we tend to chalk it up to scriptures like Isaiah 55:9 ... His thoughts and ways are higher than mine. And although this scripture is undoubtedly true, there are other scriptures that show us something different.
For example, Mark 4:22 which speaks of things that are in secret coming to light, things kept hidden in order to be manifested. 1 Cor. 2:16 tells us we have been given the mind of Christ, holding the very thoughts, feelings, and purposes of His heart. (Amplified Bible) In fact, God doesn't want us to miss His hidden truths because they are for us to know. (Rom. 11:25, Mark 4:11) These verses speak mainly of the mystery of the Church brought about through the mystery of Jesus and whom will be taken to heaven in the mystery of the rapture. These things are mysteries to the unbeliever but firm truths to those in Christ, and I believe are a template for the Christian life.
As individual believers, God is always at work establishing intimate relationships with each of us through mysteries He waits for us to find. Isaiah 45:3 gives a clear depiction of this. "And I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name." Another beautiful mystery which waits to unfold, and ironically also deals with our name, is in Rev. 2:17. "To him who overcomes, I will give to eat of the manna that is hidden, and I will give a white stone with a new name engraved on the stone, which no one knows or understands except he who receives it." ... and which according to Is. 62:2, God Himself will give us. Isn't that amazing!?! That is how profoundly close, how deeply intimate our walk with the Lord is to be here on earth.
However, we must also be mindful that as much as these mysteries and secrets are meant to be found, God alone has the perfect timing for their discovery. Let me share with you my personal experience with this. You see, for years I had prayed a prayer that I felt passionate about. One that I felt had scriptural bases. One that I, after about 7 years of praying it, began to wonder if I'd ever get an answer. The prayer was this ...
"Lord, You see the desire of my heart. How I long to have a relationship with my children! How I wish they would look at me and see me! How it breaks my heart that they don't understand the power of communicating with me. They don't call to me for even the most basic of needs, and they certainly don't realize all that I want to do for them. Help me, Lord. It is so painful to see my children like this."
After years of praying this prayer I found myself at a place of questioning if God understood me or even cared that my heart was so broken over my children. The last time I prayed this prayer I remember punctuating my point by saying "God, You desire to have a relationship with Your children! Well, I desire to have a relationship with mine!" (Can I just throw in here, NEVER think you are going to out wit God because that is when He will out wit you!) God chose to answer me by playing my prayer back to me, but instead of being from my perspective it was from God's perspective. A holy, righteous, unselfish perspective of a loving heavenly Father who longs for relationships with ALL His children.
"Now you see the desire of My heart. How I long to have a relationship with My children! How I wish they would look at Me and see Me! How it breaks My heart that they don't understand the power of communicating with Me. They don't call to Me with even the most basic of needs, and they certainly don't realize all that I want to do for them. Help Me. It is so painful to see My children like this."
In that moment I was so humbled. In that moment I was overwhelmed with heaviness for those who are lost. In that moment I could completely identify with God and was so comforted in knowing He completely understood me. No, I did not get a direct answer to my prayer. I got something better. I got a glimpse into the very heart of God.
At this point I'd love to tell you I have no idea why it took God so long to share this with me. Certainly He knew His answer the very first time I prayed this. However, He knew I wasn't ready for it. You see, had God given me this answer 5 years sooner - 3 years sooner - or even 1 year sooner I would not have cared about what He cared about. I was way too caught up in my own life and my own loss to care about others. In God's great wisdom, instead of giving me opportunity to sin by elevating my will and desire above His, He remained silent. The beauty is that God tells us what we need to know exactly when we need to know it. We are not waiting for Him, my friend. He is waiting for us. When our hearts are ready to receive His perspective, He will reveal it. In His response He not only gives us insight into Him but also a backward glance at how far He has brought us. How much He has transformed our hearts. Incredible.
The ability to identify with God is so very profound! Through the years I've heard many people question God's ability to identify with topics like children and marriage. But have we forgotten that God has children, and Jesus has a bride? Autism was an area of my life I never thought I could identify with God about. Excitedly, unexpectedly, and sadly enough I now can. I dare say that God has used my children's Autism to show me an even larger epidemic. One that plagues His children ... His bride. Spiritual Autism. Here is a list of diagnosing questions ...
1. Am I so rigid in keeping with my schedule and routine that God's divine appointments are bothersome to me?
2. Is my obsessive compulsiveness to details making me miss God's bigger picture?
3. When my perfectly lined up life gets thrown out of whack with an unforeseen obstacle, am I prone to meltdowns?
4. Do I make things in my life more difficult than they need to be because I don't ask God about them?
5. Am I too busy with the sound of my own voice to hear what God is trying to say to me?
6. Where am I missing God working in my life because I'm not looking for Him?
7. When something doesn't fit neatly in one of my preconceived God/Bible/Spiritual boxes, do I find myself throwing it over the fence into the ferns never to be found again? (That one's in honor of my sweet Hannah! How I love that girl!)
Do you see yourself in any of these questions? I see myself too. But I am so happy to tell you that unlike Autism, Spiritual Autism has a cure! That cure is abiding in God's word and being Spirit led.
This experience has resulted in three huge changes for me. One, a heart that longs to see lost souls saved. Two, a desire to see God's people aware of and set free from Spiritual Autism. And three, a better understanding of the power of persevering prayer.
Perseverance is the first word God gave me after Hannah's diagnosis in 2003. Matthew 7:7-8 paints a picture of perseverance. "Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking , the door will be opened." Revelation 3:20 reveals the persevering image we are created in as Jesus says, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears and listens and heeds My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me." God patiently, passionately, and perseveringly pursues us. He is not deterred when we do not respond. Is it any wonder that He has called us to do the same?
As I have witnessed the power of persevering prayer in my own life, I want to encourage you to persevere as well. No good thing will God withhold, but let Him decide what that good thing is and trust it to be revealed at just the right time. (Ps. 84:11) Many times that good thing is meant to prosper our soul, not just our situation. (3 John 2) Since we know God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him, let us exercise both faith and patience as we watch our persevering prayer give way to His most beautiful promises. (Heb. 11:6, 6:12)
For example, Mark 4:22 which speaks of things that are in secret coming to light, things kept hidden in order to be manifested. 1 Cor. 2:16 tells us we have been given the mind of Christ, holding the very thoughts, feelings, and purposes of His heart. (Amplified Bible) In fact, God doesn't want us to miss His hidden truths because they are for us to know. (Rom. 11:25, Mark 4:11) These verses speak mainly of the mystery of the Church brought about through the mystery of Jesus and whom will be taken to heaven in the mystery of the rapture. These things are mysteries to the unbeliever but firm truths to those in Christ, and I believe are a template for the Christian life.
As individual believers, God is always at work establishing intimate relationships with each of us through mysteries He waits for us to find. Isaiah 45:3 gives a clear depiction of this. "And I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name." Another beautiful mystery which waits to unfold, and ironically also deals with our name, is in Rev. 2:17. "To him who overcomes, I will give to eat of the manna that is hidden, and I will give a white stone with a new name engraved on the stone, which no one knows or understands except he who receives it." ... and which according to Is. 62:2, God Himself will give us. Isn't that amazing!?! That is how profoundly close, how deeply intimate our walk with the Lord is to be here on earth.
However, we must also be mindful that as much as these mysteries and secrets are meant to be found, God alone has the perfect timing for their discovery. Let me share with you my personal experience with this. You see, for years I had prayed a prayer that I felt passionate about. One that I felt had scriptural bases. One that I, after about 7 years of praying it, began to wonder if I'd ever get an answer. The prayer was this ...
"Lord, You see the desire of my heart. How I long to have a relationship with my children! How I wish they would look at me and see me! How it breaks my heart that they don't understand the power of communicating with me. They don't call to me for even the most basic of needs, and they certainly don't realize all that I want to do for them. Help me, Lord. It is so painful to see my children like this."
After years of praying this prayer I found myself at a place of questioning if God understood me or even cared that my heart was so broken over my children. The last time I prayed this prayer I remember punctuating my point by saying "God, You desire to have a relationship with Your children! Well, I desire to have a relationship with mine!" (Can I just throw in here, NEVER think you are going to out wit God because that is when He will out wit you!) God chose to answer me by playing my prayer back to me, but instead of being from my perspective it was from God's perspective. A holy, righteous, unselfish perspective of a loving heavenly Father who longs for relationships with ALL His children.
"Now you see the desire of My heart. How I long to have a relationship with My children! How I wish they would look at Me and see Me! How it breaks My heart that they don't understand the power of communicating with Me. They don't call to Me with even the most basic of needs, and they certainly don't realize all that I want to do for them. Help Me. It is so painful to see My children like this."
In that moment I was so humbled. In that moment I was overwhelmed with heaviness for those who are lost. In that moment I could completely identify with God and was so comforted in knowing He completely understood me. No, I did not get a direct answer to my prayer. I got something better. I got a glimpse into the very heart of God.
At this point I'd love to tell you I have no idea why it took God so long to share this with me. Certainly He knew His answer the very first time I prayed this. However, He knew I wasn't ready for it. You see, had God given me this answer 5 years sooner - 3 years sooner - or even 1 year sooner I would not have cared about what He cared about. I was way too caught up in my own life and my own loss to care about others. In God's great wisdom, instead of giving me opportunity to sin by elevating my will and desire above His, He remained silent. The beauty is that God tells us what we need to know exactly when we need to know it. We are not waiting for Him, my friend. He is waiting for us. When our hearts are ready to receive His perspective, He will reveal it. In His response He not only gives us insight into Him but also a backward glance at how far He has brought us. How much He has transformed our hearts. Incredible.
The ability to identify with God is so very profound! Through the years I've heard many people question God's ability to identify with topics like children and marriage. But have we forgotten that God has children, and Jesus has a bride? Autism was an area of my life I never thought I could identify with God about. Excitedly, unexpectedly, and sadly enough I now can. I dare say that God has used my children's Autism to show me an even larger epidemic. One that plagues His children ... His bride. Spiritual Autism. Here is a list of diagnosing questions ...
1. Am I so rigid in keeping with my schedule and routine that God's divine appointments are bothersome to me?
2. Is my obsessive compulsiveness to details making me miss God's bigger picture?
3. When my perfectly lined up life gets thrown out of whack with an unforeseen obstacle, am I prone to meltdowns?
4. Do I make things in my life more difficult than they need to be because I don't ask God about them?
5. Am I too busy with the sound of my own voice to hear what God is trying to say to me?
6. Where am I missing God working in my life because I'm not looking for Him?
7. When something doesn't fit neatly in one of my preconceived God/Bible/Spiritual boxes, do I find myself throwing it over the fence into the ferns never to be found again? (That one's in honor of my sweet Hannah! How I love that girl!)
Do you see yourself in any of these questions? I see myself too. But I am so happy to tell you that unlike Autism, Spiritual Autism has a cure! That cure is abiding in God's word and being Spirit led.
This experience has resulted in three huge changes for me. One, a heart that longs to see lost souls saved. Two, a desire to see God's people aware of and set free from Spiritual Autism. And three, a better understanding of the power of persevering prayer.
Perseverance is the first word God gave me after Hannah's diagnosis in 2003. Matthew 7:7-8 paints a picture of perseverance. "Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking , the door will be opened." Revelation 3:20 reveals the persevering image we are created in as Jesus says, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears and listens and heeds My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me." God patiently, passionately, and perseveringly pursues us. He is not deterred when we do not respond. Is it any wonder that He has called us to do the same?
As I have witnessed the power of persevering prayer in my own life, I want to encourage you to persevere as well. No good thing will God withhold, but let Him decide what that good thing is and trust it to be revealed at just the right time. (Ps. 84:11) Many times that good thing is meant to prosper our soul, not just our situation. (3 John 2) Since we know God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him, let us exercise both faith and patience as we watch our persevering prayer give way to His most beautiful promises. (Heb. 11:6, 6:12)
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