Ask!

"You have not, because you ask not." James 4:2

Can I let you in on a little secret about many parents of children with special needs?  They struggle with their prayer life.  It's not necessarily that they don't like to pray or don't know how to pray or don't understand the importance of prayer.  It has to do with the fact that they prayed a prayer that for some reason didn't get answered.  They prayed for a healthy child, but that is not their reality.  A diagnosis doesn't just rock your life; it can rock your faith.  I would liken it to the saying "Once bitten, twice shy." When you step out in faith on God's Word and something different happens, it can be a real test to do it again.

Faith, prayer, and God's will can come into question when earth shattering things happen.  Many times in an attempt to play it safe and salvage what we have left of our faith, our prayers become complacent.  We no longer have the courage to approach the throne with the confidence that 1 John 5:14-15 speaks of.  Our prayers tend to have a permanent tag line ... "if it be Your will."  And often times, that becomes our only prayer.  For many of us, things learned in our childhood about faith shatter to pieces, and we are left wondering why our faith didn't work. Satan intends for this to be the outcome.  He tries his hardest to keep us in a state of defeat, complacency, and hopelessness.

As I look back over my own journey, I can see that God had to completely renew my mind in these areas, and He still is.  I wanted to peg my complacent, comfortable prayer life on my circumstances.  However the truth is these thoughts are grounded in fear.  The fear of not being heard, the fear of not being answered, the fear of rejection, the fear of not getting what I asked for, the fear of finding out I may not have known God's will, and maybe (for type A personalities like myself) the fear of being wrong.

God never leaves us in something that will hinder our life and walk with Him.  Nothing hinders that more than fear.  I have observed in my life and in others that many times God will put us smack dab in the middle of our fears in order to eradicate them.  He allows us to face that thing we prayed saying "Anything but this, God.  I can't do this.  I can't bear it."  We all know we are to pray in faith, but look at those statements again.  Those aren't prayers of faith.  They are prayers of fear.  And my friend, let me tell you, God loves you and me too much to let us stay bound in chains of fear.

God sent Jesus so we could be free, and those that are free are free indeed!  (John 8:36) So now it's the Holy Spirit's job to teach us about the freedom that is truly ours, and that means shining His light on fear and allowing His perfect love to cast it out.  (1 John 4:18)  The revelation of the transforming power of God's love comes as you become rooted and grounded in how great, how deep, how wide, how incredible His love is for you.  (Eph. 3:17-19).  So much so that all that remains is a reverential fear of God.  And my friend, love is not only the eradicator of fear.  Love is the fuel for our faith! (Gal 5:6)

The truth is God is not a genie.  We don't give Him our prayer list and POOF magically and immediately we get what we asked for. God is working a masterpiece plan.  You, your family, your acquaintances, your co-workers, your neighbors, your fellow church members ... all of it plays into God's sovereign plan and that includes His sovereign timing. 

So how do we approach prayer?  First we must remember that prayer isn't a seeking of our own desires.  Prayer is about seeking God.  Here are a few scriptures to make sure you are keeping the horse in front of the cart ...
* "But seek first of all His kingdom and His righteousness, and then all these things will be added unto you." Matthew 6:33
* "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
* "Without faith it is impossible to please Him.  For whoever would come near God must believe that God exists and that He is the rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." Hebrews 11:6

Second, we must remember there is a perseverance factor in prayer.  God highlighted this for me this past week as I was trying to get laundry done and my precious two year old wanted some milk.  Standing there gazing intently at me she said "Mommy!  Mommy!  Mommy! More milk please."  I assured her I was coming in just a minute.  Within 10 seconds she started again, "Mommy!  Mommy! Mommy!  More milk please."  Again, I acknowledged her with "One minute, please."  And on and on we went.  She never got angry or upset.  She was perfectly fine with receiving milk on mommy's timetable, but with childlike faith, she kept making her wishes known.  Philippians 4:6 says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God."  Matthew 7:7-8 says "Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking, the door will be opened."  (Or in my daughter's case, the refrigerator door!)


Third and most simple of all, we must ask!  James 4:2 says "You have not, because you ask not."  Over the past 10 days not only this scripture but an analogy of it has caught my attention 3 times.  I know whenever this happens, God is speaking to me, and I need to listen.  The analogy is of getting to heaven and finding out all that could have been mine on earth, but I didn't ASK!  Short of hell itself, I can't think of anything worse than finding out things I desperately wanted and could've had in this lifetime if only I'd asked!  As I allowed myself to soak up this truth I made three very specific prayer requests to God.  One of them was that our family would be able to attend Joni and Friends Family Retreat again this summer.  (This is a Christian based camp for families affected by disability).  We had already stepped out in faith by paying the $50 registration fee.  With the total cost of the trip being well over $2,000 for our family of six, I felt a little foolish as thoughts like "Have you seen your bank account lately?" came to mind.

You know sometimes faith can look foolish, but the Bible says God uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise. (1 Cor. 1:27) How humbling to be confounded by God ... but also, how exhilarating!  Days after praying this prayer I received word that our family had been granted a FULL scholarship to attend camp this summer!  I am grateful we stepped out in faith, that someone or many someones donated the money, that our family was chosen, but most importantly that God taught me the importance of ASKING.  Faith without works is dead.  (James 2:17) We have to have faith to believe, but we also have to act on that faith by asking. 

Without a doubt we all enjoy "yes" to prayer much more than "no," but can I tell you something?  God is just as faithful in the "no's" as He is in the "yes's."  The cure for an anemic prayer life isn't in knowing you'll get a "yes."  It's in knowing that God is sovereign over whatever answer you get.  He is always directing our steps, always aligning our path, always preparing the way.  Sometimes it will involve yes.  Sometimes, no.  Sometimes, not yet.  Our job is simply to ask, and then to let God be God.  Let He who knows the beginning from the end determine what is best.  Know that whatever answer we receive is what's best.  Understanding that God is sovereign, that He loves you and is 100% faithful will allow you to enter His rest.  Then you can relax and watch as His perfect plan unfolds.