Summer. For special needs families it's not just a season of humidity but a season of humility. God always uses summer to once again reiterate how much I need Him every second of every day to walk this journey out. I'm slowly learning to embrace this season because I know God is working in me, but it is hard. I know of several other special moms that are in the same boat as me ... more than one child with a disability. This makes it nearly impossible to get out of the house and go places. Imagine going to the park (or anywhere else) with two children that at any moment could take off in opposite directions. How do you split yourself in half to chase after them? It's very difficult. So unless a friend or family member or dad is available you are stuck at home, and the longer the summer goes on the more the walls around you seem to cave in. The kids can feel it too. Other than assimilating to a new schedule, they are excited to get out of the house and go back to school. And let's be honest, so am I. However, this doesn't mean I don't love my kids or that we didn't make some fun memories over the summer.
Without a doubt the highlight of our summer the past two years has been the week we spent in Alabama at Joni and Friends Family Retreat (JAF). JAF is a Christian camp for families who have been affected by disabilities. It's founder is Joni Eareckson Tada who herself became a quadriplegic as a teenager. From the moment you arrive you are embraced as family. Your special children are assigned STMs (Short Term Missions), and your typical children are assigned a buddy. These incredible people are there to help all week long with your children enabling you to do things you normally couldn't do. What a blessing!
The other blessing comes in being connected to other moms and dads of special needs children. It was in one of these group meetings toward the end of the week that we shared what this experience had meant to us. This meeting with just women can turn from laughter, to crying, to a hearty AMEN! at any moment. It was in this meeting where I got the chance to share my heart, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to share with you as well.
Many times through the years people have told me how inspired they are by me. How touched they are by my family and it's very untypical challenges. I have always very politely thanked people but have never really understood what they are talking about. I mean honestly, there are days where I don't even feel inspired to get a shower, and my family's unique challenges many times inspire me to take a nap! But what I've come to learn through my time at JAF is that God's grace is very different depending on whether you are dealing with a disability or observing others who are dealing with a disability. As we are usually the family on display, I don't see what others see. However my time at JAF has given me many opportunities to be the observer, and what I've seen is truly a remarkable thing. It's given me the vantage point of others who see me and my family, and it is inspiring. Watching the grace of God flow into a mom dealing with a child in full blown meltdown mode. Watching the grace of God flow from several adults helping a physically disabled adult transfer from a wheel chair into an inner tube at the pool. Watching the grace of God flow from STMs to kids who won't enter the cafeteria because of sensory issues. Watching the grace of God flow from one person with a disability to another person with a disability. Watching the grace of God flow as an adult with Autism helps moms and dads understand their non-verbal child with Autism. Or how about finding out that STMs and buddies are not only volunteers, they pay their own way to be there to help your family? Or how about learning that a buddy assigned to your family has just been through their own personal tragedy six weeks ago and still grieving but is there to serve you? Grace on full display.
You cannot help but be changed and transformed after being in such an environment for a week. It is truly the most beautiful picture of the Body of Christ in motion, and what you eventually learn is that everyone, even and especially those with disabilities, plays a part. What you eventually realize is that we all have limitations and need each other. What you eventually see is how God's strength is displayed through one member of the Body in the area that another member is weak. We are kidding ourselves when we think we don't need each other. And I think this might just be the greatest blessing in being part of the handicapped community ... and that's that we get this concept. We know isolation well and because of that we embrace interdependence. Arms can function but they function better with an elbow, a shoulder, a hand, and fingers and thumbs. You see what I mean?
After this experience I have such a different perspective on being the family on display in public. (Not that I enjoy it any better). But I now realize that someone needs to see this. Someone needs to witness the grace of God that so evidently flows in a difficult situation. However, the truth is this. If you are a member of the Body of Christ you are on display also. In your home. Outside of your home. At work. At school. To your neighbors, family, and community. You are a member of God's family on display.
In my very short career in retail many moons ago, I remember one thing about setting up a window display. It's got to catch people's attention. It's got to draw the eye. It's got to make people want it. You see where I'm going with this, I'm sure. What about you and the way you live your life draws people's attention? What catches their eye? Do they see such a difference between themselves and you that they want what you have?
1 Peter 2:9 says this "But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation. A peculiar people (I LOVE that part!) that should DISPLAY the perfection of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light."
My fellow Believers, we are not called to look like the world. We are in this world but not of it. We deal with the same problems as many other people, but we should not be dealing with them the same way. His light within us should be catching people's attention, drawing the eye upward, and making people realize they want Jesus. They NEED Jesus! We live in a lost, confused, dying world, and the only part of you that you should focus on giving away, both in word and in deed, is Him because it's the only thing that matters. It's the only thing that's going to make a lasting impact to that waitress who served you coffee, that mechanic that fixed your car, that neighbor that just found out their spouse is leaving them, that friend whose loved one has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness.
Let's get off the sidelines! Let's get in the race! Let's make a real difference in real lives that have real problems! Let's vow to be open and honest with others about our own struggles and the amazing grace we have received through Christ because of and in spite of them. Let's give them the very best that we can offer of ourselves. Let's give them Jesus ..."The mystery of which was hidden for ages and generations, but is now revealed to His saints ... which is Christ within and among you, the Hope of realizing the glory." (Col. 1:26-27).
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Sunday, August 23, 2015
August 22 ... What's Your Due Date?
August 22. A seemingly random date. For much of my life it was. However in 2000 my daughter Hannah was born on this date. Coincidently it was her actual "due date" which I'm told only 5% of babies are ever born on. What a happy day! Our second child but first daughter. So many dreams where born that day as she took her first breath ... dreams of our relationship, dreams of her future, dreams of fun holidays, dreams of her accomplishments ...
Not quite three years later we would learn that our precious daughter had Landau-Kleffner Syndrome. A syndrome characterized by an abnormal EEG ... spiking in the temporal lobes which is the speech and language center of the brain. This diagnosis was very rare and therefore the prognosis was uncertain. This syndrome presents itself much like a severe case of Autism. Therapies recommended for children with Autism were what was recommended for us to try with Hannah.
Fast forward to yesterday, August 22, 2015. Hannah's 15th Birthday. As the years have gone by this date has become more and more pregnant with conflicting emotions. One emotion wants to celebrate the birth of this special child that has taught me so much. I would NEVER want Hannah to think she was somehow less and not worth celebrating. I'm certain God celebrates Hannah and sings over her. Why then wouldn't I? But quite honestly, the other emotion wishes we could skip this date all together. How do you celebrate a day that has brought more heartache, tears, and challenges to our life than any other? As she gets older, this day is a sad reminder of the fact that although she is growing up chronologically, cognitively she has not. This date that marks the birth of dreams held on to as well as the laying to rest of dreams as the years have gone by. This is a difficult day for my husband and I. Birthdays are difficult for many parents with children with disabilities.
However, and praise God, this is the point where He steps in to remind me that these are my thoughts, not His. These were my dreams, not His. These were my plans, not His. These are my way of perceiving what has happened, not His. I have no doubt that God loves Hannah more than even I do. Therefore I have no doubt that His plans and dreams for her are far better than anything I could have imagined for her. Special needs parenting is a continual faith walk, and as is the case with any faith walk, one must continually stir up their faith to walk it.
Back before I did not yet know this, I remember having a total breakdown with God one day as I pressed Him once again for WHEN Hannah would be delivered from her world of isolation. I will never forget what came up in my Spirit that day as it has carried me through many birthdays (and other weary days). "Just like Hannah had a due date to be delivered, she has a due date for her deliverance." WOW! (Again, the power punch to this statement is that Hannah WAS delivered on her due date!)
So we wait, but we are not alone in our waiting. God never calls us to something without empowering us to do it, and many times the empowering He gives us is in identifying with Him. Waiting is no different.
I was reminded of this yesterday as I made Hannah's birthday cake and my thoughts drifted back to a conversation I had had earlier this year with the Lord. I remember asking God, yet again, why people must wait for any benefit of which Jesus died on the cross to give us? If it is finished as Jesus declares in John 19:30 why must we wait? Certainly I know it is finished in the spiritual realm, but I was growing weary in waiting and wanting to see some physical realm change. That was when I came across Phil. 2:10-11 as if for the first time ... reading it with fresh perspective eyes ... "That at the name of Jesus every knee must bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess and acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the Glory of God the Father." And that's when it hit me ... Jesus is waiting too. This scripture is not yet fulfilled, and according to Matt. 24:36 Jesus Himself does not know the day or hour it will be fulfilled. I can certainly identify with that! In fact all of Revelation waits to come to pass. Jesus, although known as Lord to the Church, is still mocked by much of society ... maybe more today than ever! Yes, Jesus waits too, and like everything else Jesus experienced we can choose to identify with Him and let him teach us about waiting.
*So how is Jesus waiting?
Well, for starters, He's not pacing Heaven's floor biting His fingernails wondering if these things will happen. Ephesians 1:20 tells us that Jesus is seated at the right hand of God the Father. Seated ... a position of rest. The right hand of God ... a position of power and authority. Then if you drop down to Ephesians 2:6 you will see that we are seated with Him!
*So what is Jesus doing while He waits?
Hebrews 4:14 says He is our High Priest. We are to hold fast to our confession of faith in Him, which is also His Word, because we know it does not return void (Is.55:11). Hebrews 7:25 says He is continually making intercession for us. Likewise, scripture directs us to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thes. 5:17).
*What is Jesus patiently expecting to be the end result of His waiting?
Acts 2:35 says "Till I make Your enemies a footstool for Your feet." ('Your' here is referring to Jesus). Again, we are seated with Him and part of His Body (Eph. 1:22-23). Romans 16:20 reads "And the God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet." (Here, 'your' is referring to us). As one of my favorite pastors says "So even if you are the skin on the bottom of the pinky toe of Christ, Satan is UNDER YOU!"
We can and should wait with the same expectancy and assurance as our Savior. The outcome is certain even if the timing is not.
Many scriptures have helped me persevere. Psalm 37:13. "The Lord laughs at the wicked, for He sees that their own day of defeat is coming." My friend, I have decided if God is laughing I can laugh too. After all it is the best medicine, but more than that Philippians 1:28 says "And do not for a moment be frightened or intimated in anything by your adversaries, for such fearlessness will be a clear sign and proof to them of their impending destruction, but a sure token of your deliverance and salvation, and that from God."
So friend, are you in a season of waiting? Is the waiting starting to feel endless? Rest assured that there is a "due date" on the promise you are waiting for. "But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!" (Hab. 2:3) Praise God! He will redeem the time and restore what was lost (Joel 2:25).
(This blog post is dedicated to my most precious daughter, Hannah. As I look back I realize I didn't get what I wanted, I got more. I got what I needed. How grateful I am for you. And though this life looks nothing like I imagined, God is working a wonder ... a glorious masterpiece that will unfold in its appointed time, and it will mean far more because of the journey we have traveled. I love you!)
Not quite three years later we would learn that our precious daughter had Landau-Kleffner Syndrome. A syndrome characterized by an abnormal EEG ... spiking in the temporal lobes which is the speech and language center of the brain. This diagnosis was very rare and therefore the prognosis was uncertain. This syndrome presents itself much like a severe case of Autism. Therapies recommended for children with Autism were what was recommended for us to try with Hannah.
Fast forward to yesterday, August 22, 2015. Hannah's 15th Birthday. As the years have gone by this date has become more and more pregnant with conflicting emotions. One emotion wants to celebrate the birth of this special child that has taught me so much. I would NEVER want Hannah to think she was somehow less and not worth celebrating. I'm certain God celebrates Hannah and sings over her. Why then wouldn't I? But quite honestly, the other emotion wishes we could skip this date all together. How do you celebrate a day that has brought more heartache, tears, and challenges to our life than any other? As she gets older, this day is a sad reminder of the fact that although she is growing up chronologically, cognitively she has not. This date that marks the birth of dreams held on to as well as the laying to rest of dreams as the years have gone by. This is a difficult day for my husband and I. Birthdays are difficult for many parents with children with disabilities.
However, and praise God, this is the point where He steps in to remind me that these are my thoughts, not His. These were my dreams, not His. These were my plans, not His. These are my way of perceiving what has happened, not His. I have no doubt that God loves Hannah more than even I do. Therefore I have no doubt that His plans and dreams for her are far better than anything I could have imagined for her. Special needs parenting is a continual faith walk, and as is the case with any faith walk, one must continually stir up their faith to walk it.
Back before I did not yet know this, I remember having a total breakdown with God one day as I pressed Him once again for WHEN Hannah would be delivered from her world of isolation. I will never forget what came up in my Spirit that day as it has carried me through many birthdays (and other weary days). "Just like Hannah had a due date to be delivered, she has a due date for her deliverance." WOW! (Again, the power punch to this statement is that Hannah WAS delivered on her due date!)
So we wait, but we are not alone in our waiting. God never calls us to something without empowering us to do it, and many times the empowering He gives us is in identifying with Him. Waiting is no different.
I was reminded of this yesterday as I made Hannah's birthday cake and my thoughts drifted back to a conversation I had had earlier this year with the Lord. I remember asking God, yet again, why people must wait for any benefit of which Jesus died on the cross to give us? If it is finished as Jesus declares in John 19:30 why must we wait? Certainly I know it is finished in the spiritual realm, but I was growing weary in waiting and wanting to see some physical realm change. That was when I came across Phil. 2:10-11 as if for the first time ... reading it with fresh perspective eyes ... "That at the name of Jesus every knee must bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess and acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the Glory of God the Father." And that's when it hit me ... Jesus is waiting too. This scripture is not yet fulfilled, and according to Matt. 24:36 Jesus Himself does not know the day or hour it will be fulfilled. I can certainly identify with that! In fact all of Revelation waits to come to pass. Jesus, although known as Lord to the Church, is still mocked by much of society ... maybe more today than ever! Yes, Jesus waits too, and like everything else Jesus experienced we can choose to identify with Him and let him teach us about waiting.
*So how is Jesus waiting?
Well, for starters, He's not pacing Heaven's floor biting His fingernails wondering if these things will happen. Ephesians 1:20 tells us that Jesus is seated at the right hand of God the Father. Seated ... a position of rest. The right hand of God ... a position of power and authority. Then if you drop down to Ephesians 2:6 you will see that we are seated with Him!
*So what is Jesus doing while He waits?
Hebrews 4:14 says He is our High Priest. We are to hold fast to our confession of faith in Him, which is also His Word, because we know it does not return void (Is.55:11). Hebrews 7:25 says He is continually making intercession for us. Likewise, scripture directs us to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thes. 5:17).
*What is Jesus patiently expecting to be the end result of His waiting?
Acts 2:35 says "Till I make Your enemies a footstool for Your feet." ('Your' here is referring to Jesus). Again, we are seated with Him and part of His Body (Eph. 1:22-23). Romans 16:20 reads "And the God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet." (Here, 'your' is referring to us). As one of my favorite pastors says "So even if you are the skin on the bottom of the pinky toe of Christ, Satan is UNDER YOU!"
We can and should wait with the same expectancy and assurance as our Savior. The outcome is certain even if the timing is not.
Many scriptures have helped me persevere. Psalm 37:13. "The Lord laughs at the wicked, for He sees that their own day of defeat is coming." My friend, I have decided if God is laughing I can laugh too. After all it is the best medicine, but more than that Philippians 1:28 says "And do not for a moment be frightened or intimated in anything by your adversaries, for such fearlessness will be a clear sign and proof to them of their impending destruction, but a sure token of your deliverance and salvation, and that from God."
So friend, are you in a season of waiting? Is the waiting starting to feel endless? Rest assured that there is a "due date" on the promise you are waiting for. "But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!" (Hab. 2:3) Praise God! He will redeem the time and restore what was lost (Joel 2:25).
(This blog post is dedicated to my most precious daughter, Hannah. As I look back I realize I didn't get what I wanted, I got more. I got what I needed. How grateful I am for you. And though this life looks nothing like I imagined, God is working a wonder ... a glorious masterpiece that will unfold in its appointed time, and it will mean far more because of the journey we have traveled. I love you!)
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