August 22 ... What's Your Due Date?

August 22.  A seemingly random date.  For much of my life it was.  However in 2000 my daughter Hannah was born on this date.  Coincidently it was her actual "due date" which I'm told only 5% of babies are ever born on.  What a happy day!  Our second child but first daughter.  So many dreams where born that day as she took her first breath ... dreams of our relationship, dreams of her future, dreams of fun holidays, dreams of her accomplishments ...

Not quite three years later we would learn that our precious daughter had Landau-Kleffner Syndrome.  A syndrome characterized by an abnormal EEG ... spiking in the temporal lobes which is the speech and language center of the brain.  This diagnosis was very rare and therefore the prognosis was uncertain.  This syndrome presents itself much like a severe case of Autism.  Therapies recommended for children with Autism were what was recommended for us to try with Hannah.

Fast forward to yesterday, August 22, 2015.  Hannah's 15th Birthday.  As the years have gone by this date has become more and more pregnant with conflicting emotions.  One emotion wants to celebrate the birth of this special child that has taught me so much.  I would NEVER want Hannah to think she was somehow less and not worth celebrating.  I'm certain God celebrates Hannah and sings over her.  Why then wouldn't I?  But quite honestly, the other emotion wishes we could skip this date all together.  How do you celebrate a day that has brought more heartache, tears, and challenges to our life than any other?  As she gets older, this day is a sad reminder of the fact that although she is growing up chronologically, cognitively she has not.  This date that marks the birth of dreams held on to as well as the laying to rest of dreams as the years have gone by.  This is a difficult day for my husband and I.  Birthdays are difficult for many parents with children with disabilities.

However, and praise God, this is the point where He steps in to remind me that these are my thoughts, not His.  These were my dreams, not His.  These were my plans, not His.  These are my way of perceiving what has happened, not His.  I have no doubt that God loves Hannah more than even I do.  Therefore I have no doubt that His plans and dreams for her are far better than anything I could have imagined for her.  Special needs parenting is a continual faith walk, and as is the case with any faith walk, one must continually stir up their faith to walk it.

Back before I did not yet know this, I remember having a total breakdown with God one day as I pressed Him once again for WHEN Hannah would be delivered from her world of isolation.  I will never forget what came up in my Spirit that day as it has carried me through many birthdays (and other weary days).  "Just like Hannah had a due date to be delivered, she has a due date for her deliverance." WOW!  (Again, the power punch to this statement is that Hannah WAS delivered on her due date!) 

So we wait, but we are not alone in our waiting.  God never calls us to something without empowering us to do it, and many times the empowering He gives us is in identifying with Him.  Waiting is no different.

I was reminded of this yesterday as I made Hannah's birthday cake and my thoughts drifted back to a conversation I had had earlier this year with the Lord.  I remember asking God, yet again, why people must wait for any benefit of which Jesus died on the cross to give us?  If it is finished as Jesus declares in John 19:30 why must we wait?  Certainly I know it is finished in the spiritual realm, but I was growing weary in waiting and wanting to see some physical realm change. That was when I came across Phil. 2:10-11 as if for the first time ... reading it with fresh perspective eyes ... "That at the name of Jesus every knee must bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess and acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the Glory of God the Father." And that's when it hit me ... Jesus is waiting too.  This scripture is not yet fulfilled, and according to Matt. 24:36 Jesus Himself does not know the day or hour it will be fulfilled.  I can certainly identify with that!  In fact all of Revelation waits to come to pass.  Jesus, although known as Lord to the Church, is still mocked by much of society ... maybe more today than ever!  Yes, Jesus waits too, and like everything else Jesus experienced we can choose to identify with Him and let him teach us about waiting.

*So how is Jesus waiting? 
Well, for starters, He's not pacing Heaven's floor biting His fingernails wondering if these things will happen.  Ephesians 1:20 tells us that Jesus is seated at the right hand of God the Father.  Seated ... a position of rest.  The right hand of God ... a position of power and authority.  Then if you drop down to Ephesians 2:6 you will see that we are seated with Him! 
*So what is Jesus doing while He waits?
 Hebrews 4:14 says He is our High Priest.  We are to hold fast to our confession of faith in Him, which is also His Word, because we know it does not return void (Is.55:11).  Hebrews 7:25 says He is continually making intercession for us. Likewise, scripture directs us to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thes. 5:17).
*What is Jesus patiently expecting to be the end result of His waiting? 
Acts 2:35 says "Till I make Your enemies a footstool for Your feet."  ('Your' here is referring to Jesus). Again, we are seated with Him and part of His Body (Eph. 1:22-23). Romans 16:20 reads "And the God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet." (Here, 'your' is referring to us).  As one of my favorite pastors says "So even if you are the skin on the bottom of the pinky toe of Christ, Satan is UNDER YOU!" 
We can and should wait with the same expectancy and assurance as our Savior. The outcome is certain even if the timing is not.

Many scriptures have helped me persevere. Psalm 37:13.  "The Lord laughs at the wicked, for He sees that their own day of defeat is coming."  My friend, I have decided if God is laughing I can laugh too.  After all it is the best medicine, but more than that Philippians 1:28 says "And do not for a moment be frightened or intimated in anything by your adversaries, for such fearlessness will be a clear sign and proof to them of their impending destruction, but a sure token of your deliverance and salvation, and that from God."

So friend, are you in a season of waiting?  Is the waiting starting to feel endless?  Rest assured that there is a "due date" on the promise you are waiting for.  "But these things I plan won't happen right away.  Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled.  If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass.  Just be patient!  They will not be overdue a single day!" (Hab. 2:3) Praise God!  He will redeem the time and restore what was lost (Joel 2:25). 

(This blog post is dedicated to my most precious daughter, Hannah. As I look back I realize I didn't get what I wanted, I got more.  I got what I needed.  How grateful I am for you.  And though this life looks nothing like I imagined, God is working a wonder ... a glorious masterpiece that will unfold in its appointed time, and it will mean far more because of the journey we have traveled.  I love you!)